An Apple's Eye

Death below and life above. Millions of correct decisions, then judgement slips. The equalizer of man reaches from beneath and fastens his sinister claws around my ankle. Heaven, once so close, sets like a fiery star.  Rules remain the same everywhere, keep moving forward and do not fall. The falling irony is you must be presently attuned to avoid it, but you can never think of it. To see is to do. Many world class climbers have been struck down by the glacial peaks of the North Cascades. Two days from your vehicle and a long drive to help, a broken ankle can be the end. My final failure must be mitigated. I always climb with partners; an able body makes the world difference in dire straits. Rope and climbing gear are life insurance, while a Garmin and prescription pain medication are critical in a desperate situation. Rule number one: do not get hurt, rule number two: make it back.

In the remote solitude and the prevailing danger, I find solace. I know exactly where I am going and how I will get there. I have researched, experienced, practiced, and locked in. I could sit in the chaos of the mountains indefinitely, but alas, we reside in the human colony of order and obedience. To do otherwise is selfish and you will be rooted out. I will learn to thrive in this colony but like the mountains, I must first determine my destination. Where do I want to be? Everyone seems to know, while I live day to day, hour to hour. I crave the mountains and detest the 9-5, am I so evil? Rats are intelligent but I have no desire to run among them. Trees and rocks do not pray upon my failure, so why do people? It must have been something in that wicked apple. I drifted across the country and around the world to find my home, but I returned empty handed. God, what is next?